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50k Fat Ass Fun Run in the Badlands Bend, Oregon Including 9, 13, and 22 mile options This is a fun run to turn your post-holiday fat ass into a BAD ASS!
Course Description and Distance Options
The Course Located east of Bend, off Highway 20. The course consists of a loop in and around Smith Canyon and over Cinder Butte (directly north of Smith Canyon) in the Horseridge/Badlands area. The course is 85% desert dirt road and 15% ATV trail (over the Cinder Butte) and is a great winter running spot dry or snow packed. The course will be marked with flags. Start with 2 miles out and 2 miles back on a dirt road, then counterclockwise 9 mile loop over the Cinder Butte, down the NW side on the ATV trail, SW on the dirt road, then back east up the long, but runnable Smith Canyon dirt road. Then, NW on the dirt road and back to the start/finish area at the base of the Cinder Butte. High point the Cinder Butte at 4358 feet (great views). Low point is 3680 feet at the mouth of Smith Canyon.
Distance Options The Bad Ass 50k 31 miles. Starts with 4 mile out and back plus three 9-mile loops. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have been training consistently already and are prepared to throw down a 50k training run. You have your priorities straight. You definitely aren’t scared of snow, ice, or sleet and probably have a pair of running shoes with sheet metal screws already in them. Yep, you’re a Bad Ass. The Timid Ass Twenty-Two 22 miles. Starts with 4 mile out and back plus two 9-mile loops. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have been training semi-consistently, but are a little scared to step up to Bad Ass stature. Upon completion, you definitely have a tighter ass, you’re just not a bad ass yet. Get your priorties right and go train more or risk looking “fat” in your favorite “shortie” running shorts come summer. The Huge Ass Half 13 miles (half marathon). Starts with a 4 mile out and back plus one 9-mile loop. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have slacked over the holiday and only worked on expanding their ass and need a jump start. You’ve been procrastinating to begin training because “it’s so cold and snowy in Central Oregon.” After completion, your ass is still pretty big but it might not jiggle as much as before. The Numb Ass Nine (aka The Super Slacker Super Dave Nine Miler) 9 miles. Skip the 4 mile out and back and run the single 9-mile loop. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have done nothing but sit on their fat ass over the holidays. Your ass is numb from too much eating, drinking, and merriment. You’re often overheard mumbling “it’s cold outside” proceeded by a trip to the fridge. This distance won’t help tighten up your ass much, but it may be less numb (depending on the weather).
How bad is your dog’s ass? Bring ‘em, pooches are welcome. Note, it is the desert, so, the only water will be at the aid station (e.g. your car) and eating snow (if there is any).
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